Friday, July. 30th, 2010
12:30 pm GMT
it’s a conspiracy

RSS Leather Yenta (Lolita Wolf)

  • Lolita’s NYC Picks of the Week: July 29 – August 4
    A new munch in NYC: “Dom Women/Masculine Sub Men First Munch” on Friday at 7:30pm at Pot Luck Asian Cuisine, 255 W 26th St. They’ll be going on to the TES Papparazzo Party across the street at Paddles afterward. Saturday night check out the Submit Party for Women and Trans in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Call [...] […]
  • Hands-On Rope Bondage Intensive in Baltimore
    Everyone is invited on Saturday, July 31st for a four hour long Hands-On, Rope Bondage Intensive at Play House in Baltimore with Lolita Wolf. This Rope Intensive is Hands-On and limited to 12 people and will begin promptly at 1pm with a lunch break. Rope Bondage Four Hour Intensive There is nothing more classic than [...] […]
  • Things are looking up
    Jefferson on the Psychotherapist’s couch. I was surprised that he mentioned me. Vi’s library has its own website. Franklin Veaux‘s great chart for Non-Monogamy. Dan Savage writes about kink entrepreneurs in The Stranger. Alternet‘s article on how kink is becoming mainstream and accepted. Related posts Zip zip (0) You’re soaking in it (0) You’re as [...] […]
  • SMOOTH HOTEL show held over for the summer
    SMOOTH HOTEL features Barbara Nitke‘s provocative photographs of chic people misbehaving in anonymous hotel settings. The photography series is in collaboration with New York fashion designers Tom and Linda Platt. You can see it at 69 Gansevoort Street, NYC through August 22, 2010. Update 7/28: Oops! Just got word that 69 Gansevoort has closed! But [...] […]
  • Poly Class and Sex Positive Pansexual Play Party in Baltimore
    Everyone is invited to a Sex Positive Pansexual Play Party hosted by the Friends of Play House and Baltimore TNG to be held at Play House in Baltimore on Friday night, July 30th from 9pm until 2am. I will be presenting a workshop about how to have more successful poly relationships at 9:30pm and open [...] […]

Tilda calls out Mario Puzo

By RWilkinsIII, Sex Blog Conspiracy
Saturday August 30th 2008

In high school, without really having access to porn – I occasionally stumbled on things that seemed to be bits of porn intentionally embedded in other things. Particularly the scene in The Godfather – my recollection is page 27 of the paperback edition – in which Sonny Corleone fucks a bridesmaid against a bedroom door during his sister’s wedding. The sex is so good that she becomes his mistress.

Tilda has written an even better sex-during-wedding proceedings piece, “I do. As often as I can.” We’re going to pander to the audience here and excerpt the really hot parts – but those of you who aren’t here just for the sex should read the thoughtful parts.

I have only been a bridesmaid once before (really more like a best woman), for my friend Katherine and her girlfriends commitment ceremony. This time it was for my favorite cousin. I stood there at the front of the church, perched on a step, stiff and proper as my feet slowly started to go numb in my new heels. I could feel the beads of sweat collect inside my invisible, adhesive bra purchased in haste at the Target next to the hotel. I forgot how low my dress came down in the back and had neglected to procure the correct undergarment. The dress also revealed a massive bite mark just below my right shoulder. I panicked for a moment, but decided that between explaining the mark and revealing my bra strap, the latter was the lesser of the two evils.

My mother, helping me into the silicone boob stickers said, “What’s that mark on your back?” I sighed, “What does it look like, mom?” Feeling a sudden urge for transparency I said, “It’s a bite mark, now how does this bra-thing work?”

She paused, “If anyone asks, we’ll just say you had an accident.”

So, I stood there with a frozen smile on my face, gripping the bouquet as song after song after song was sung (god, so many songs) and my mind drifted to an old boyfriend and his brother’s wedding. I wore a sensible sleeveless black dress and little black heels. Underneath, I chose stockings in anticipation for some shenanegans. As as one of the best men, he looked dashing in his black suit and silk tie. We both cleaned up pretty nice. We had yet to realize that our relationship was held together only by sheer laziness and a mutual appreciation for his penis.

It was sometime after the food and before the cake that we sneaked off to the upstairs bathroom. He closed the door behind us, but I don’t think he bothered to lock it. He pushed me over and I gripped the sink as he ran his hands up my thighs, lifting my dress, rubbing my ass framed by the garters. He gave my butt a few little slaps and reached in front to rub my pussy through my damp underwear, making them wetter than they already were, until he finally just pulled them down and off over my heels.

He pushed me down even further so my head was bumping into the tap. The sink was right underneath the window, overlooking the garden and I watched the guests chatting and finishing their meal under the tent while he fingered my cunt. He collected as much of my juice as he could and slipped his fingers into my ass using my lube as his lube. I heard him spit on his hand then felt the head of his dick at my asshole. I raised up on my toes and shoved my ass out waiting for the push, that first tiny bit of resistance, that little, “Oh yeah, this isn’t a cunt” and then straight to the hilt, both of us groaning. I heard the tinkle of cutlery on glass from outside and watched one of his brothers stand up. With my head bumping against the tap in time with his thrusts I gasped, “Your brother’s giving a toast.” He just grunted, placed his hand on my lower back, pushed me down further so he could get a little deeper and fucked me harder.

My knees buckled, I ground my ass up to meet him and urgently fingered myself until I came, suppressing a long guttural moan. My ass clenched on to his cock and he came up my ass screaming into the fabric of my bunched up dress.

We straightened ourselves up. He wiped off any traces of fluid I might have left behind on his lovely trousers and I did the same. I was tempted to use the decorative monogramed towels to wipe myself off, but that would have just been rude. I checked my face in the mirror and we joined the rest of the guests just in time for the cutting of the cake. As we stood posing for the photographer, surrounded by his family, I could feel his come leaking out of my asshole.

This weekend, I was expecting a bombardment of, “So when are you getting married, your little cousin needs a playmate, when are you having kids, don’t you want to get married and have kids?” Fortunately, there were only a few isolated incidents and no one mentioned the bite mark. My cousin and her new husband beamed and giggled all day like teenagers, speeches were made that brought tears to my eyes, my new family members were lovely and interesting and fun. My three year old little cousin, the flower girl, wrapped me firmly around her tiny little finger.

Back at the hotel, I kicked off my shoes and peeled the bra off of my tits, relieved to have it over with. More than that, I was relieved that I was not left with an overwhelming need to be married or to have an adorable three year old of my own. I wasn’t envious of my cousins handsome husbands and brilliant kids. At all.

I did, however, leave insanely horny, for what that’s worth.

I do. As often as I possibly can. From Tilda – on Fuck: A Love Story.

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