247RichardandAmy is the blog of Richard and Amy, a bdsm couple that’s worth reading for their perceptive comments about relationships. Here’s a description of them written by a friend in a guest post:
I saw Amy and Richard cuddled up on the couch. They weren’t that old in their relationship either, I think they had just passed their first six months of living together. But I saw Amy predict Richard’s needs before he even knew he needed anything. Not because she was obsessively watching his glass with a deep fear of failing to notice when it was nearing empty, like I was with my dom, but because she was so in tune with him that she just knew. I saw her spontaneously feed him from her fingers, and I saw him feed her. They were giggling, their love apparent in everything they did. I was thinking that Amy was so much more a natural slave than I was, because she acted so naturally out of love and celebration, rather than in that obsessive worryful way that I was doing it. (Later I realized that she maybe didn’t really do everything “right”, but she did it “right enough”, and seen through the perspective of his loving eyes, it WAS right. Not because she is perfect (even though she is!!!), but because he loves her, and he recognizes the pure devotion she feels for him and his wellbeing – as he feels for her as well.)
A Thank You From Megan, on 247richardandamy.
Richard on kids, D/S, and family is very thoughtful.
With the kids around, I do that with Amy by flirting with her. We’re a playful couple, lots of joking and teasing.
Your children always figure out who you are eventually. So there’s no point in trying to fake anything; that just lets them know you are dishonest and uncomfortable with who you are.
Nor do you behave inappropriately in front of them. You don’t involve them in your sex life or particular fetish. Humiliation play etc. is fine, but not appropriate in front of kids. Nor is it appropriate in public – go to clubs for those things, where people are expecting stuff of that nature. I don’t like to do anything too far out of the norm in front of anyone who hasn’t consented to being a part of it. But that’s another whole issue.
Our kids know that I behave aggressively towards Amy. I’ll pull her close, kiss her, flirt with her, openly adore her. She asks my opinion on things, and gives her own. I don’t issue orders and expect her to obey, etc in front of them. I treat her with the deference and politeness she deserves, as any human deserves. Humiliation kink, since it is arousing, is something only done in private. (And it’s not THAT arousing, so it’s not done that often. Or maybe too often, since it’s not a big fan favorite with Amy. Go figure.)
We are D/s 24/7 not because we are playing at it, because it’s who we are. It feels right. Actually, it doesn’t really feel like anything at all.
It’s just normal.
Amy on raising children, D/s in a blended family
Honestly, I would welcome the opportunity that some public BDSM behavior would offer for a conversation with my kids. Sadly that is unlikely to occur where we live (I so fantasize about moving to San Francisco). However, I’ve had a couple of good, introductory conversations with my eldest child who is a BIG fan of Twilight. Any of you read Twilight? OMG, Edward (the vampire) is a TOTAL Dom, and Bella is waaaaaaay submissive. My girl got very sad after reading the first book because she said she would never meet a guy like Edward. We talked about what she found appealing in him. Dangerous but nurturing. Protective but domineering. Aggressive but gentle. Completely focused on Bella. I finally said “Dude. Check out your stepdad. Is he not Edward?” And it was like a light came on. She got it.
Since then, she has started conversations with me about sexuality (we had the “where do babies come from” a very long time ago). For one thing, she wanted to know if she was a lesbian, since she thought women’s bodies were really beautiful. I said a) no, and b) it would be okay if you are, as long as you c) still have grandbabies for me (she knows the last is a joke). She also wanted to talk about Edward and Bella’s relationship more, and we ended up talking about D/s and power exchange and switching and role playing. I didn’t speak specifically about Richard’s and my relationship, but I did tell her that I was submissive. She was so open and interested that it kind of blew me away. Which I said. It was a really wonderful talk.
247RichardandAmy. Another pair of pervs you’d be proud to have as neighbors.
