To my kinky side:  I’m sorry.  I have neglected you for oh so long, and I must pay my penance.

You never had a priority – everything else in my life was just so much more important, from unfulfilling jobs and ridiculous schedules to sitting on the internet and vegging for hours at a time.  This is a sin, and I have only recently recognized its gravity.

I went to COPE this weekend, and what was expected to be simply a grand play party with some lessons thrown in turned into a full-blown deep sea expedition into my own psyche.  Play morphed into something completely new and, at the same time, something intensely familiar.  I remembered what it was like to be absolutely in love with what I’m doing right now.

There were two classes and two scenes that really helped to drive this home.  I discovered that I was, in fact, not the only person that found the absurd and ridiculous sexy.   I found a process to thinking about identity and relationships with others, and how to differentiate between the essence of my being and the driving core to my life.  I experienced the absolute joy of being secure in my desires, as well as the confidence to request them and the freedom to relish them completely as they are fulfilled.

Finally, I shared the shock of unleashing a previously untapped appreciation for play that, until my ego and established thought processes had been pushed aside, I never thought I would actually do – let alone relish.

I am grateful for all the people that helped guide me to these realizations.  A few had very limited to no contact whatsoever with me, while some were intimately involved with the process (though unaware at the time).  Without the instructors’ willingness to put themselves out there and share their experiences, some of us would never be inspired and driven to grow.

I feel revitalized and scrubbed fresh, all aglow with the effort of thousands of tiny sharp lessons and questions to cut away the needless complications.

Thank you.

We’ll have to follow this woman:  dirtyheartblues.

It’s a kick-ass sex blog, written by a large-ish group of interesting people; founded by LadyEvyl; upon whom we would have a crush for, again, multiple reasons:

1. she’s a gorgeous, funny, pervy, smart woman;
2. She makes and sells beautiful collars, floggers and, we think, other things, too (EvylTies)
3. She has a sex toy store with things other than her own creations, FunSeXXXToys

She’s persuaded (seduced? coerced?) a whole bunch of other people into writing for her on Kinky Sex Link,  most of whom are new to us, but one of whom, who we refer to as Mr. Axe, whose work we like to read, and who we’ve wanted to meet since we read his first post.

So check out Unspeakable Axe – feel free to tell him we sent you; and make sure you spend some quality time at LadyEvyl’s little on-line empire – you don’t want to make her mad, I think. Start with KinkySexLink.

The queer sex DVD Crash Pad Series: Rope Burn, volume 4(a $40 value) plus a 20$ gift Card for Babeland(US and Canada)

So head on over to,  http://www.kinkysexlink.com, whose proprietress, http://www.ladyevyl.com is also the mistress of http://www.funsexxxtoys.com and http://www.ladyevyl.com/store

Maybe we can actually post today. 

 Max

I am just getting into the dance and she asks me to bring one item from the umbrella stand. I bring three. I want ALL OF THEM. The cane with its silver tips, a strong birch for the punishment and those cold tips against my warmed skin. I want the crop with its mini flogger that stings and tingles. I want the new boar bristled hairbrush while I am over her knee, intimate and close.

“Choose one.” I opt for the crop. “Bend over.” I move forward slightly from where she is sitting on the couch and bend down, reaching for my ankles, my legs slightly spread. She pushes me forward slightly and I stretch further down my legs…holding the soft suede leather of these boots and feeling how difficult it will become to hold this position once the crop starts to burn. The crop strikes once and I cry out mostly from the edge of anticipation. She strikes me again in succession a few times and I feel the sting. She touches my ass. I look back and she directs my face forward with the tip of the crop. I think she strikes me hard twice and then again in succession just slightly softer three or four times. I teeter slightly as my knees quiver. I feel her power and my sex starts to moisten. She positions the small square ottoman in front of me and leans me over it. “Show me your ass,” she says and I happily lift it, climbing onto 16 inch square like a circus act. I am praised. “That’s it. Nice.” Her voice is starting to drop and I know she is aroused.

Downward strokes in succession feel as if my skin is burning. Hard stinging strokes to my hips, upper buttocks bring heated cries. She lets me breathe. Reminds me to lift my ass to her. My hips rise as she meets it with more stinging blows. My head sinks down and I raise my cheeks higher to meet her. Each pause raises my threshold as the endorphins start to rise. I want her touch too. I want to feel the heat of my wounds on her hands. She hesitates to strike and strokes my skin slowly with the tendrils of the crop. I tingle and twitch. My sex is moist. “Say yes.” I do. I want more. Stroke me. Hard stinging blows. One…..pause…two, three, four…five, six….seven and I beg for relief, pounding the sides of that ridicuously small piece of furniture that I am balanced upon. I will not frank. “johnny” escapes my lips almost breathless and she does not let up. There is the slightest pause as if she heard me and then two quick hard strike against my cheeks. I feel her cock now between my legs and one slight push and she is in. I move back toward her and she holds me still, fucking my sex hard, pounding at once. The slap slap slap and I am writhing. My sex swells even further and I want it all. I want the crop again and her cock and I want to touch her honey skin. My head is swimming. I feel the rush and I put my hands against the floor to hold my body up while she pushes into me harder and harder. My legs start to feel the pressure and my knee gives out and I beg to turn over. She guides my head to her cock and I swoon. Greedy pig wraps her mouth around the dildo and slides down the shaft. The push from my mistress into my mouth again and again and I gasp. I take her in my hands and slurp down sucking. I lay back on the ottoman and she stands over my mouth, guiding her cock into my mouth, deep, deeper, gasping now. Again. Again. Now my legs are spread and she plunges again. I buck and then she flips me and I ride her bouncing with the tips of toes tapping the floor and then she is pushing me up and down….I clench my cunt and feel her movements. I think I’m ready to cum and she flips me again. “Show me your ass,” is all she has to say and I get into position, on my knees, shoulders low, and my hands down, ready to be fucked. My sex is dripping and I think I’m going to squirt when I do cum. She hands me the vibrator and in two minutes I’m pulsing, throbbing, and then more splooshing and I want more and as she yanks at my hair, grabs my hips, pulls at my tits, I feel the wave rise again and a surge of pulsating energy and I am throbbing, throbbing, throbbing, I keep going, pulsing, throbbing and I think this must end but I’m still open and then I feel my sex tighten, and the deep throbbing goes on and on. I am giggling and smiling and panting. I want her more now. I want her between my legs, in my mouth, under my skin.

Direction. From the lovely blog Monkey’s Desire.

Marky D. Sade | A sexy bondage blog.

I saw Amy and Richard cuddled up on the couch. They weren’t that old in their relationship either, I think they had just passed their first six months of living together. But I saw Amy predict Richard’s needs before he even knew he needed anything. Not because she was obsessively watching his glass with a deep fear of failing to notice when it was nearing empty, like I was with my dom, but because she was so in tune with him that she just knew. I saw her spontaneously feed him from her fingers, and I saw him feed her. They were giggling, their love apparent in everything they did. I was thinking that Amy was so much more a natural slave than I was, because she acted so naturally out of love and celebration, rather than in that obsessive worryful way that I was doing it. (Later I realized that she maybe didn’t really do everything “right”, but she did it “right enough”, and seen through the perspective of his loving eyes, it WAS right. Not because she is perfect (even though she is!!!), but because he loves her, and he recognizes the pure devotion she feels for him and his wellbeing – as he feels for her as well.)

A Thank You From Megan, on 247richardandamy.

Richard on kids, D/S, and family is very thoughtful.

With the kids around, I do that with Amy by flirting with her. We’re a playful couple, lots of joking and teasing.

Your children always figure out who you are eventually. So there’s no point in trying to fake anything; that just lets them know you are dishonest and uncomfortable with who you are.

Nor do you behave inappropriately in front of them. You don’t involve them in your sex life or particular fetish. Humiliation play etc. is fine, but not appropriate in front of kids. Nor is it appropriate in public – go to clubs for those things, where people are expecting stuff of that nature. I don’t like to do anything too far out of the norm in front of anyone who hasn’t consented to being a part of it. But that’s another whole issue.

Our kids know that I behave aggressively towards Amy. I’ll pull her close, kiss her, flirt with her, openly adore her. She asks my opinion on things, and gives her own. I don’t issue orders and expect her to obey, etc in front of them. I treat her with the deference and politeness she deserves, as any human deserves. Humiliation kink, since it is arousing, is something only done in private. (And it’s not THAT arousing, so it’s not done that often. Or maybe too often, since it’s not a big fan favorite with Amy. Go figure.)

We are D/s 24/7 not because we are playing at it, because it’s who we are. It feels right. Actually, it doesn’t really feel like anything at all.

It’s just normal.

Amy on raising children, D/s in a blended family

Honestly, I would welcome the opportunity that some public BDSM behavior would offer for a conversation with my kids. Sadly that is unlikely to occur where we live (I so fantasize about moving to San Francisco). However, I’ve had a couple of good, introductory conversations with my eldest child who is a BIG fan of Twilight. Any of you read Twilight? OMG, Edward (the vampire) is a TOTAL Dom, and Bella is waaaaaaay submissive. My girl got very sad after reading the first book because she said she would never meet a guy like Edward. We talked about what she found appealing in him. Dangerous but nurturing. Protective but domineering. Aggressive but gentle. Completely focused on Bella. I finally said “Dude. Check out your stepdad. Is he not Edward?” And it was like a light came on. She got it.

Since then, she has started conversations with me about sexuality (we had the “where do babies come from” a very long time ago). For one thing, she wanted to know if she was a lesbian, since she thought women’s bodies were really beautiful. I said a) no, and b) it would be okay if you are, as long as you c) still have grandbabies for me (she knows the last is a joke). She also wanted to talk about Edward and Bella’s relationship more, and we ended up talking about D/s and power exchange and switching and role playing. I didn’t speak specifically about Richard’s and my relationship, but I did tell her that I was submissive. She was so open and interested that it kind of blew me away. Which I said. It was a really wonderful talk.

247RichardandAmy.  Another pair of pervs you’d be proud to have as neighbors.

• Always Aroused Girl
• Sexegesis
  
• Fetlife

Ciaran60’s Dark Musings . Worth your time and then some.

A digression: writing about sex and sex art, if you’re not in it as a business, isn’t cost-free. And while we certainly
can’t afford all of the subscriptions we’d like, I want people to make some money so that they keep making it. And – to the extent they can make a good living – and I’ve little idea of the economics of the business – I think they’re more likely to take risks and deviate from formulae.I mean here not only Ms. Berlin (who I don’t know), but also some that I do, like our favorite librarian. Said librarian is so smart and writes so well that while we don’t ever want her to stop writing about sex and relationships, we’d pay to read anything she wrote, because we’re always interested in her observations.

So – our first point here is – we may not be able to support all of our favorite pornographers all of the time – but we should all be paying some of our pornographers some of the time. (Yes, I’m paraphrasing Lincoln, but Lincoln’s record on censorship, except about military matters in wartime, was better than, say,Ashcroft’s. Also, Lincoln was known to tell racy stories and was quite the reader. He would have approved, I think).To quote Ms. Berlin herself (and she’s as funny in her blog as she is on film):  .

“Buy my porn, people. I made it for you.”

Our second point is – that when politicians try to capitalize on our national hypocrisy and ambivalence about sex and prosecute people who produce material, with consenting adults, that other people want to read, watch, listen to, and even pay for – we should roundly and loudly object, regardless of the particular flavor or quality of the materials. In a country where sexuality is politicized, pornography is axiomatically political speech.

Personal Disclosure: My first real employment (apart from jobs in school) was in law enforcement. And early on, I was actively and aggressively involved in investigating and prosecuting child pornography and prostitution (“child” for these purposes, being unambiguously pre-pubescent children), as aggressively as we pursued kidnappers, murderers, rapists, and violent racists. The notion of child prostitution is inserted into discussions of consensual pornography the way the recording industry shamelessly claimed that “illegal” music downloads were financing Al Qaeda. It’s an entirely false – and irrelevant – argument.

We are optimistic that the incoming Administration knows that it has better things to do with the People’s monies and resources. But – just because we’re here encouraging you to live happy, fulfilled lives – you have an obligation to object to censorship. In the meantime, we have fun things to tell you about – but we’ve delayed because we felt obliged to rant and scold.

So – because we’ve spent so much time discussing politics – let’s hope it doesn’t become necessary to remind you all again that the Constitution will only protect us if  we protect the Constitution – here’s what you should do:

• Go to the library, and read.
• Then, go to Mz. Berlin’s blog. Read her words, buy her porn. Mz. Berlin writes much better than I do – and she’s funnier and much better-looking. And she’s got a website and a  blog  - and if she keeps going at this rate we may urge her to run for office. When’s the next California governor’s race?
  
• Then visit Fetish Nation. Ian Rath, we think, takes the best photographs of Ms. Berlin. On the other hand, if he’s ever taken a bad photograph, he must have put someone else’s name on it. He’s got a blog, which is either new or I’m betraying my ignorance, which, in any case, is vast.
• Join Fetlife. It’s not a non sequitur, or if it is, you’ll still be happy about it.

I’ve been reminded that we’ve had in our house a number of discussions about Mr. Rath and his oeuvre. The beautiful blond from Kansas – whose sexual appetites, interests and observations are as amazing as her taste in men is questionable – finds Mr. R. (and quite a number of his on-screen colleagues, too) exceedingly attractive – has wondered if there isn’t a second, much more exclusive line at Fetish Nation – “Doesn’t he ever take his clothes off?” she’s wondered aloud, more than once. Mr. R. may, in fact, be her favorite male adult performer.

Part of this is that he’s just a really good-looking man – with a lot of presence, very funny, and unquestionably very smart. So we think that he has a thing for very smart women – viz. Ms. Berlin, and something about the charming/clever conversations gets the villain in him going – and that’s why his work is all so hot – but, as we noted before, funnier at the beginning, Very seriously hot by the end.